Shh...Mine (This. Is. Not. Over.) Read online

  “By who?” I ask.

  “My boss.”

  “Bring him the fuck over.” Matt says.

  “Matt…” Rena says as she places a hand on his arm. “Come on…”

  “That’s okay.” Danny says with a fake smile to our waitress. “Thank you.”

  “I’m sorry, would you like something else? Pepsi? Water?”

  “A water is fine.” The waitress walks away.

  “What the hell was that about?” Matt asks. “How can they just cut someone off without them being drunk?”

  “Maybe it’s her size.” Rena says.

  “She’s taller than you and Jasmine.”

  “But she’s lean.”

  “Lean, not skinny. She can handle another drink. See this is why I don’t come to places like this…” And then Matt goes on a tirade. But I look at Danny and see that she’s leaning back in her chair relaxed. The old Danny would have flipped about being denied a drink when she clearly wasn’t drunk but she and I both know what’s going on. Matt’s still flipping when Jasmine arrives appearing shaken. She slides into the seat next to Danny and I see her slip a small sheet of paper to her. Danny takes it, s it and then reaches for her clutch. He’s told her to check her phone. Leave her the hell alone! Danny reads her messages and then goes to respond immediately, my cell phone buzzing as she pushes send.

  Danny 9:38 pm: I’m fine. Just surprised

  Blair 9:38 pm: You drive?

  Danny 9:39 pm: No. Jasmine

  Blair: 9:39 pm: Don’t let him take you home.

  Danny 9:40 pm: Of course not. She won’t be either

  Blair 9:40 pm: I will

  Danny 9:40 pm: Don’t want to ruin boys night out

  Blair 9:41 pm: Rather be with you

  Danny 9:41 pm: Give me an hour. I’ve been acting shitty

  Blair 9:42 pm: Take your time baby

  And then Danny turns into a social butterfly; smiling, bringing up topics of discussion, laughing with Rena and Matt, drawing Marlon into it, looking over to me and asking my opinion, helping Rena plan the specifics of the Hilton Head trip that everyone will possibly take in two weeks. They talk about kids, Philly, the Lakers (she plans for everyone to meet at game in three weeks when they come to play the Celtics), sushi bars versus dives, Christmas…everything. She’s happy. She’s talked to him and now she’s happy. Danny is happy.

  December 4th

  “It was we, the people, not we, the white male citizens, nor yet we, the male citizens, but we, the whole people, who formed this Union. And we formed it, not to give the blessings of liberty, but to secure them; not to the half of ourselves and the half of our posterity, but to the whole people -- women as well as men.”

  The entire audience, at John Hancock Hall, erupts into applause as Danny raises her hand and waves to the crowd, letting the words of Susan B. Anthony be the final thoughts she wants people to reflect on. The president of Simmons College walks on stage, a huge smile on her face. Danny has done it again. Danny’s always selling out John Hancock Hall. The girls at Simmons College love her. She’s been working with that college since high school and even helped get Gloria Steinem to speak at their events twice. Danny’s their idol though she is strangely humble about it and barely mentions it at all. Her thing is books and feminism though oddly her favorite genre is romance: a stud saving a woman. You see, I know these things. She thinks that I don’t but I do. I may not have made a big deal out of my wife being a feminist rock star in Boston, but believe me, I knew about it. She came back to Boston twice a month to check into work and the feminist scene here. I respected that. I never mentioned it but I respected it. I may not be like her new boyfriend who’s in the crowd with his blue-blooded squad: Nat, Jacob and two others they run with. He’s standing, smiling, hands in his pockets, proud that he’s the one that will be taking this feminist home. He likes that she just said that white men aren’t better than anyone else because he plans on fucking her until she admits that they are. He thinks it’s funny, him and his four friends: Republicans, dressed to the nines, drawing the attention of every supposed self-respecting feminist. Aren’t you ladies supposed to be focused on being in control? So why are you all batting your lashes at your oppressors?

  Danny walks off the stage and into the arms of Malcolm who gives her one of those ‘I’m proud of you’ hugs as opposed to the usual ‘I can’t wait to fuck you later’ hugs. She hugs the rest of her white boy crew and of course they welcome her with the widest smiles and strongest hugs they can muster. Thank you for reminding me that I’m not in charge and that we’re all equal. Sometimes I forget. I leave and walk through the crowd back to my car. I can barely stomach this shit.

  As soon as I’m in my car, I head back to Marlon’s townhouse where he and Jasmine are keeping an eye on Nicky while he sleeps. I have no idea how I’m going to get my wife back but I’ve got to think of something. But it’ll be hard; she’s in love with that man. That much is obvious. She’s in love and all he sees her as is his possession. That much is obvious as well. My phone rings while I’m on my way back to Marlon’s. My father. What the hell does he want?

  “Yeah.” I say answering it.

  “What time is it over there!” He laughs.

  He’s just a load of fucking fun, my father. He can find the humor in anything. I left your mother with six kids. Isn’t that funny! You all were on welfare because of it. Isn’t that hilarious! The only way you could get to college was on a basketball scholarship. Isn’t that a fucking riot! I never called you back when you left a message about needing to talk about problems with Danny. Isn’t that comical! You’re divorced now and I don’t even know it. That’s the funniest thing of all!

  “What do you want?” I have no time for another bullshitter.

  “Well what’s wrong with you?”

  “I called you six months ago.”

  “I know, but I was driving trucks.”

  “And you couldn’t use a phone while doing it?”

  “Safety first!” He laughs. What a clown.

  “I can’t talk now.”

  “Why not? Where’s my boy?”

  “My son is at a friend’s house.”

  “Ah, I get it! You and Danny need some alone time.” He laughs. “Ready for baby number two, huh? I don’t blame you, that’s a pretty girl you got there. Nice and pretty. That boy of yours is the cutest of my grandkids, I can only imagine what a girl would look like. Nicky has dark hair but I’m hoping the girl takes after Danny. Ain’t nothing like an exotic looking black woman. I was just bragging on her the other day, we were talking about women who walk around acting like they too good to hold a job and I told them that my daughter-in-law not only owns her own company but she-“

  “Danny and I are divorced.” There. Shut the fuck up.

  It has to be a good five seconds before he says anything.

  “Man…divorced?”

  “Yeah, I called you before it happened but of course you were too busy.”

  “Shit…man. Divorced?”

  “I’ve got to go.” I end the call. No use of trying to talk now, it’s done. Let me get back to Nicky.

  My father calls back as soon as I put the phone in the cup holder and when I don’t answer, he sends a text message.

  Pop 9:56 pm: Don’t lose your wife. Don’t lose your son.

  Her Apartment

  “Are you gonna let me do this?” She says as she straddles him. She’s already pulled his clothes off of him and she has on a lace set, no doubt bought since she’s known him. I’ve never seen it before and she damn sure has never wore anything lace for me. She has two swatches of sheer cloths in her hands. I walked in after their clothes were off. I didn’t see his Audi on the street so I had no idea he was here. Seems Danny never changed the locks so my key still works. I guess with them in the moment, they never even heard me come into her condo.

  I came to beg her back, I want to work things out. For once my father gave me good advice: Fight for your family, the way
I never did. And so that’s what I’m here to do but it seems that Danny has things other than her family on her mind. She wants this white boy.

  “If you ever tell anybody I let you do this…” He smiles and she bends down to kiss him. She sure is a kisser now, tongue and all.

  “Lean back and turn this way.” She bites her tongue and he yanks her down by her waist and steals her tongue from her. Once again, he’s plying her mouth with his. This is so fucking disgusting. She shoves him on the bed and then ties each of his wrists to a railing on her headboard.

  “If you ever tell anybody…” I can hear his voice smiling. She lets out a laugh. She’s been doing that a lot lately. His hands are secure now on their own rails and she’s knotted the cloth twice. She’s making sure he doesn’t get away. Who is this Danny? I don’t know this woman. This is not the same woman that I married. This is not the same woman who stole me from Marla. This woman is trashy.

  I watch her get up and lift the bedroom windows, then the breeze blows her sheer curtains around. He watches her, his eyes on her hips the entire time. She then turns towards the bed and slides her lace set off. His eyes are glued to her and her eyes are teasing him. His body is tensing, his dick is rock hard, he wants her. She fucking disgusts me in this room with this white boy, getting ready to let him fuck her, no condom in sight. She’s naked now and so she climbs on the bed and eases her way onto him. She brings her face by down to his, a kiss. A long kiss. He tenses again. She sits over him like a frog, the most demeaning pose I’ve ever seen her do and then, flop! She crashes on top of him and then begins her ride. Back and forth, up and down, circles…fast….faster. I hear muffled grunts from him. His feet are flexing, his muscles are tightening and his hands are now gripping the rails that his wrists are tied to. She drops her head back, her hair falls right below her shoulders. Hmm…she’s enjoying this. This is the same woman that I nearly had to beg for sex. The same woman who told me to hurry up. And now look at her, bouncing up and down on this man she barely knows, her ass making a clapping sound every time she lands on him.

  Just when I thought that he wouldn’t be able to take this for much longer, she slides off of him, creeps down and takes him in her mouth. This fucking whore. He clamps his eyes shut. Shit, I hear him say. Fuck, he grunts out. I hear her giggle. Giggle! Like a whore would giggle. My Danny is not a giggler. I watch as my son’s mother nearly swallows this man’s dick. Thirsty Danny? I smile. This is the same woman who just gave a feminist speech on the oppression of white men and here she is sucking one of their dicks. God, she has just demeaned herself to the point of no return.

  “Shit, Red, I’m about to…” He says. She slides her mouth off of him and then heads lower. She decides to show him how she can juggle by only using her mouth. He’s laughing now. Tickle does it? Damn, Danny, I would have never thought you were so common. You’ve built your entire existence on relaying how common everyone else is and now look at you. She moves up and tries to swallow him whole again before hoping up and crashing back on top of him. And so it begins again, this medley that she’s performing for him. Bouncing on him, then sliding down him, trying to swallow him, then juggling him, then sliding back up him just to bounce on him again.

  “Danielle,” He sounds like he can barely speak, “take the scarves off.” He sounds desperate. She laughs and then slides down him and puts him in her mouth. “Red…shit…take the scarves off…fuck!...Danielle…shit…shit…” He wants a go at her. I hope she does take the scarves off soon just so he can destroy her. See, Danny doesn’t do rough sex so after all of this damn teasing, he’s bound to annihilate her and that will be a major turnoff for her. “Red, take the scarves off.” He shuts his eyes and then clenches his jaw. Yeah, he’s about to make her pay. She giggles again.

  “Why?” She asks before she laughs. He smiles and then looks at her as he watches her slide up to him. “Answer me.” She leans over and kisses him while she slides on top of him and starts bouncing. Hard. Fast. She leans over him to let her breasts bounce in his face. White boys love breasts; he’s probably in heaven now. Then she turns around bends over and bounces that way. His eyes are glued to her ass.

  “Take off the scarves. Shit. Take the scarves off.” Well what do you know, white boy’s an ass man. She turns back around, leans over and kisses him as she takes the knots out of the scarves. She holds them up and dangles them over him. And just like I thought, he darts up, flips her over and she goes crashing on her back and she…laughs? Laughs? And then he pounds inside of her. And I mean pounds. Her laughing turns into panting and then it turns into grunting. Throaty grunts. He starts to ply her mouth so that she can’t scream and begins crashing into her so hard, she starts to slide off of the bed…she’s slipping…and slipping… She laughs, he smiles. He places one foot on the ground as she slides off of the bed, taking her white comforter with her. And now her heels are sliding against the wood floors as she tries to back away from him. Don’t play hard to get Danny. It’s pretty obvious you like it. He pulls her back down towards him, the wood floor screeching underneath her. She starts begging him not to stop because she’s about to come.

  “Pleeeease…” She says. Are you kidding me? Is she begging this white boy to keep fucking her? He smiles and whispers something in her ear. “Yes.” What did he ask? He bends down again. “Yes.” What is he asking? And he continues on until her pants come closer together.

  “Look at me.” He demands. She does. While she’s exploding, her eyes are struggling to stay open to focus on him. By the time it’s over, it’s his turn. And he goes harder…she eggs him on…tells him to go faster…tells him that she loves how he fucks her…tell him how it’s his. He bends down and whispers in her ear.

  “Yes.” She says. “Yes, no one else’s.” So you’ve given yourself to this man, huh Danny? So he’s the reason you were so unwilling to try to save our marriage. Even after I told you that Marla and I were never together. “Nobody…” She continues while he grunts and eventually becomes stiff. She just let this white boy explode inside of her. This is so fucking gross. They breathe heavy and then stare into each other’s faces before laughing. He bends down to kiss her and she wraps her hands in his hair. Is it filled with lice now Danny? She’s giggling again. He taps her on her ass. She bites his bottom lip. He wraps her legs around his waist. Then he places his hand behind her head and lifts it off the wood floors. Her arms lay limp on the ground, her hair is brushing against it. He kisses her. Hard. A near inhuman kiss. A caveman kiss. Then he bends down and licks her neck hard, eases his way up to her chin, her mouth and then…her face. What? He licks her cheeks, her mouth, her chin. I look at him in the most morbid disgust I can muster; those big ass shoulders, that dark hair, that white boy after-five shadow. He looks like a Neanderthal right now. He’s came, he’s conquered, he’s won. He’s a fucking animal. That’s exactly what he looks like right now. A goddamn animal. He’s fucked her, marked his territory and now he’s licking her clean. All he needs to do is look over his shoulder and survey the land before telling the other Vikings around that this one is his. No one else’s. Mine.

  Danielle

  December 5th

  “I…I…I just don’t know who could have sent you these pictures Father Harper.”

  “Danielle, I’m more concerned about who else they might have been sent to.”

  “I just…” I’m at a loss for words and I am never at a loss for words. I give speeches, I write articles, I own my own literary agency. If there’s one thing I have, it’s words. But right now, as I sit inside of St. Mark’s Catholic Church, in the office of the man who christened me, I am at a loss.

  “Is this…?” He nods to the pictures and then looks up at me.

  “It’s Attorney Blair, Father.”

  “Yes, okay. I thought it looked like him.”

  “I just don’t know what to say.”

  “Danielle, I am not concerned that you are sleeping with this man. I am concerned that someone has taken pictures of y
ou sleeping with this man and they know you intimately enough to know that you attend this church. They know you intimately enough to send these to me. You are being watched.”

  “I don’t know what to say.” I place my hand over my mouth…I just don’t know what to say.

  “First things first, I want you to change the locks of your home. And, then fill out a police report.”

  “I can’t let anyone know about these.” I swallow hard not to cry.

  “Then might I suggest that since you apparently are intimate with a man such as Attorney Blair, you have him handle matters.” He looks at me and raises his eyebrows. I nod my head in understanding.

  “Okay.” I whisper. I can’t hold them back, tears fill my eyes and I put my hands over them before they fall.

  “Go now. Hurry.”

  And within a second, I’m on my feet, scooping up the black and white pictures of Malcolm and me having sex and I’m running out of the office door. My mind is racing as I run through and out of the church. Who took those fucking pictures! Who was in my condo! When were those pictures taken! Who in the world would do this! Who else were those pictures sent to! I’m nervous. Shaky and nervous. I’m too anxious to be embarrassed at the moment. I know I should be. Father Harper baptized me. He’s an old ass virgin so I’m sure he didn’t want to see Malcolm and I in a 69...or Malcolm, butt ass naked, sucking my toes, or me sitting on Malcolm’s face or any of the other wretched scenes in those pictures. I cannot believe this shit! I run to my car and nearly bust my ass on a block of ice.

  “Fuck!” I yell as parishioners, walking into St. Mark’s church for eight o’clock Mass, look at me over their shoulder. “Sorry.” I say to them as I run into my car and throw the pictures on the passenger seat. It’s thirty degrees outside but I’m burning up. I rip off my scarf and throw is over the pictures. I can’t even look at them right now. My car starts by me pressing on the break and pushing a button. So I try to accomplish the task but my hands are shaking. Who in the hell would this? As the car quietly roars to life, my phone rings. God, please don’t let it be someone else calling me to come to their office because they have pictures of my ass. I slowly look at the phone. Lola.